Formal Complaint Filed Against Former Catsitter
Not too long ago, my former catsitter, otherwise referred to as Uncle Glenn, used SERIOUSLY ILLEGAL means to get me into the awful kitty cage. He was petting me and loving on me for ten minutes, until I was purring like a motorcyle, and then he stuffed me in as if I were an old pair of socks he was throwing in a laundry bag. So I sent him this official letter:
Dear Uncle Glenn,
You are hereby informed that I am filing an official complaint with the Catsitters Association of America. This complaint stems from the underhanded tactics you employed to confine me to the cat carrier. By pretending to be sweet and then stuffing me in the box, you have violated Catsitter Clause 1.a which states that using misleading tactics to lure a sweet little kitty into a cat carrier is illegal.
Furthermore, I have decided to take legal action against you, and against your cats for pain and suffering. You should be receiving information from my attorney soon, as well as a summons to appear in District Kitty Court.
Shame on you for taking advantage of such sweet little innocent kitty.
Sincerely,
Sasha Louise Lewis
So then he sends me this reply, which I forwarded to my attorney of course:
Good luck, Sasha! You have to first prove you ARE a sweet little kitty!
And then you have to prove my kitties aren't sweet and didn't try to be nice to
you! And once the Catsitter's Association hears about how you connived your
way out of the ex-nun's "pen" and took advantage of a truly sweet human lady
who has made herself your mommy and puts up with your little bedroom calling
cards and such, Evette and Maurice won't have a thing to worry about! Oh, I
think you better forget your plans to become a dictator with your plans for world
domination. If that gets out, nobody will want to cat sit you.
In spite of all your complaints, we LOVE you!
Glenn, Evette, Maurice
Even though he's nice 99% of the time, I'm still filing my complaint!
Meow,
Sasha
p.s. I am not trying to take over the world with an isidious plan. Really.
Dear Uncle Glenn,
You are hereby informed that I am filing an official complaint with the Catsitters Association of America. This complaint stems from the underhanded tactics you employed to confine me to the cat carrier. By pretending to be sweet and then stuffing me in the box, you have violated Catsitter Clause 1.a which states that using misleading tactics to lure a sweet little kitty into a cat carrier is illegal.
Furthermore, I have decided to take legal action against you, and against your cats for pain and suffering. You should be receiving information from my attorney soon, as well as a summons to appear in District Kitty Court.
Shame on you for taking advantage of such sweet little innocent kitty.
Sincerely,
Sasha Louise Lewis
So then he sends me this reply, which I forwarded to my attorney of course:
Good luck, Sasha! You have to first prove you ARE a sweet little kitty!
And then you have to prove my kitties aren't sweet and didn't try to be nice to
you! And once the Catsitter's Association hears about how you connived your
way out of the ex-nun's "pen" and took advantage of a truly sweet human lady
who has made herself your mommy and puts up with your little bedroom calling
cards and such, Evette and Maurice won't have a thing to worry about! Oh, I
think you better forget your plans to become a dictator with your plans for world
domination. If that gets out, nobody will want to cat sit you.
In spite of all your complaints, we LOVE you!
Glenn, Evette, Maurice
Even though he's nice 99% of the time, I'm still filing my complaint!
Meow,
Sasha
p.s. I am not trying to take over the world with an isidious plan. Really.
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