Put this on your calendar human slaves!

My birthday is October 31. You may ship your presents to my human slave and she will pick them up at the post office. Here is a small list of gift ideas:

1. One dozen live rats
2. Flock of birds
3. Salmon fillets
4. My own set of towels, so Mom won't keep hogging mine
5. Larger litterbox
6. Bigger trashcan for easier dumpster-diving
7. Several new feather toys, of varying colors
8. 12-foot cat tree

My grandparents are coming up for my birthday. I hope they bring lots of presents. If they don't I'm going to bite them. We're going to have a big party, where people will feed me, pet me and stare at me worshipfully.