Dinner Ambiance Ruined by Rotten Kitchen Help

This weekend, Mom, aka Human Slave, aka Kitchen Slave was cooking a fabulous dinner for Nihad and I. I watched her cook for two hours, slaving over the hot stove, while I licked myself and watched t.v. I finally decided to stay off the kitchen counter, so Mom decided to go ahead and set the table. She brought out her finest china and silverware, and set out a dinner salad with her own homemade vinaigrette. I wasn't too interested in the salad, since I'm a carnivore. So, after Nihad ate his salad, Mom went back into the kitchen to fix up the main entree and the bread, which she did in a matter very becoming a cat servant.

I decided I could no longer resist the tempting scent of beef and okra stew over basmati rice. I noticed Mom had thoughtfully pulled out a chair for me, so I jumped on it, sat down and began to dine on my scrumptious dinner with Nihad, my business agent. We had a lot to talk about. He's been thinking about importing olive wood statues from the Holy Land, and I'm negotiating with him for a line of olive wood cats. Carved in my likeness of course.

Well, just as I'm enjoying the tasty morsels of beef, Mom turns around and screams, and then SPRAYS ME with the awful spray bottle. Apparently, she had the nerve to think that MY SEAT was hers. She then felt the need to steal my plate and proceeded to eat my food.

In response to this travesty, I'm going to go live with Nihad for a few days, and send her to graduate school. Furthermore, I licked her few remaining bits of junk food, including some chips and a donut.

Sasha Louise the Peeved Siamese