Swan Lake: The Cat Version

Last night Human Servant and her boyfriend ditched me and Fatty at home and went to the ballet. I knew this had something to do with dance, but I didn't know what it was all about. So I hopped on Human Servant's laptop and did some research. Well, gather round kittens. What you are about to hear is quite shocking.

Apparently, some humans put on feathers and DRESS UP LIKE BIRDS, then dance around on a big stage. Now I have pondered why humans would want to do this, and I have come to the following conclusion: They are doing it purely for the entertainment of cats, and they want us to pounce upon them and eat them.

Therefore, I have devised an ingenious plot. The next time Swan Lake plays Wichita, I will have Mom's boyfriend, J, who is a pilot, fly me downtown on a helicopter. I will lower myself onto the roof ala Mission Impossible. Pair Pair, my accomplice, will create a diversion by pulling the fire alarm. I will then infiltrate the concert hall, and pounce on all the feathery swans. After I attack and eat their feathered tutus, I will escape back to the roof with Pair Pair, and J will fly us back to Siamese HQ.