Human servant's lifespan to be shortened considerably

Well...I bugged the human servant's phone and found out she made an appointment to take me to the vet on Thursday evening. I am NOT A HAPPY CAT right now. So, I'm plotting to escape and/or hogtie the human servant so she can't take me in to the awful Cat Hospital.

In other news, Mum and J are trying to set me up on a playdate with his cat to see how we'll get along. He doesn't realize that I turn into Exorcist Kitty around other cats. I look forward to educating him on feral cat behavior, as well as humiliating Mum. His cat is old and fat, so I'm pretty sure I could take her in a smackdown.