Happy Sashaween Pathetic Humans

Well, tonight I'm going to be out with the other black kitties terrorizing the neighborhood. I just wanted to drop in, wash the blood off, and tell you all Happy Sashaween.

I have major dirt on Uncle Glenn and his kitties, and I'll be posting that when I'm back from my reign of doom.

Sasha 3, Human Mom 0

For reasons known only to my furry little brain, I've declared jihad on Mom's cordless phones. It started about a month ago. She came home to find both her phones off the hook, and dead. She thought she was going crazy hehe, and had forgottten to put them back on the charger. Well, the next day, she comes home from work to the same thing. And again, and again.

The other night at 2:00 a.m., she awakened to a mysterious beeping. At first she couldn't locate the source, but then she peeked over the bed to see that I had knocked the headset off the charger, and was pushing one of the buttons, because I love to wake mom up with repetitive beeping noises. "Sasha dammit!" she yelled. BEEP! I kept pushing the button with my little paw. BEEP BEEP BEEP!

She ran me out of the bedroom finally and went to sleep. The next morning, she duct-taped her phones to the chargers. As if that would thwart me! She came home yesterday to find I had just knocked the entire phone systems off the table. Her answering machine is kind of not working too well now.

Meanwhile, when she comes home from work, I'm being disarmingly sweet and cuddly. I'm saving up for Sashaween. I have lots of things planned muwhahahahahaha.

Uncle Glenn is a brown-noser!!

I was MOST disheartened to hear through the kitty grapevine that Uncle Glenn and his so-called adorable, sweet little kitties will be featured on the Wichita Cat Hospital's website. Did I get a call? Or so much as even an acknowledgement? Oh hell no.

But gather round little kittens. Uncle Glenn, Maurice and Evette have a dirty little secret. You see, Maurice and Evette aren't sweet all the time. Sure, they purr a lot, and sit around listening to Donovan, basking in sweetness and light. But, sometimes there's trouble in paradise. Sometimes Uncle Glenn calls up Mom and is absolutely EXASPERATED with Maurice and Evette's sibling rivalry and bickering. Sometimes they actually have CATFIGHTS. In fact, I have secret tapes of the three of them HISSING and fighting like three rabid hyenas.

Perhaps if they send me several cans of Chicken of the Sea tuna, I won't mail said tapes to the Cat Hospital and the Wichita Eagle.

Hissy hiss,
Sasha