Does anyone want a free tabby?

Well, we're officially moved. And while I do enjoy having tons more room, I do not enjoy the company of Fatty Catty. She is an oranged striped minion of evil. All this time everyone thought I was the little beastie, but it's actually her. She'll pick on me, and then turn around and act all sweet and innocent. As soon as the Kaiser and Mom leave for work, she lights up a cigarette and starts trolling the internet for tomcats.

The Kaiser is such a sucker for her cute little face. It makes me nauseous. That's ok though, because I have a lot of fun tormenting him at 5:30 in the morning by whacking him in the face with my fluffy tail. Flabby Tabby and I have been fighting every morning precisely at 6:00 a.m. Sometimes I stalk her, and sometimes she stalks me.

The move really sucked. I was scared to death by all the noise, and I hid in the basement. There's a big hole down there, that was dark and sinister looking. So of course, I jumped in it. Unfortunately it was filled with water. Mum said it was the sump pump. She found me soaking wet hiding behind one of her moving boxes.

The Kaiser seems to be under the mistaken assumption that he's alpha cat. He has attempted to stop me from jumping on the kitchen table, the counters and my favorite spot, the top of the fridge. Yesterday I was relaxing on the very tip top of the kitchen cabinets, when that big oaf got a ladder, grabbed me and put me back on the floor. I was not happy.

Well, I'm going to go lick myself and try to torment the Kaiser again.

The toilet -- Earth's final frontier

Mom has gotten uber vigilant about not leaving the toilet seat down. I, however, have gotten more vigilant about waiting for her to raise the lid. I've been hiding behind the bedroom door, and then as soon as she lifts the lid, I rush in there to drink out of the swishy oasis.

Last night, it was really dark, and Mom was getting up for her nightly 3:00 a.m. trip to the litter box. Since I'm so black, she couldn't see me as I was eagerly awaiting the lifting of the lid. Drowsy and taking her time, she gave me more than enough time to jump up on the seat. Imagine her shock when she sat down on me. I gave her a good Siamese yowl, and then ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs. It scared the hell out of her. Serves her right trying to deprive me of my kitty oasis.