Human servant's lifespan to be shortened considerably

Well...I bugged the human servant's phone and found out she made an appointment to take me to the vet on Thursday evening. I am NOT A HAPPY CAT right now. So, I'm plotting to escape and/or hogtie the human servant so she can't take me in to the awful Cat Hospital.

In other news, Mum and J are trying to set me up on a playdate with his cat to see how we'll get along. He doesn't realize that I turn into Exorcist Kitty around other cats. I look forward to educating him on feral cat behavior, as well as humiliating Mum. His cat is old and fat, so I'm pretty sure I could take her in a smackdown.

Uncle Glenn...

Will you please catsit me for Christmas? Look how sweet and innocent I am! I promise to behave! Mom says she's willing to pay you.

Love,
Sasha Louise

Thanksgiving recap

Well, I had an amusing Thanksgiving. The Grandparents kept me quite entertained. Sometimes Grandpa would fall asleep and I'd have to poke him awake to shake the feather toy again. He also is on some strange medication that makes him go to the litterbox, so every five minutes when I tried to use the loo, he was in there. That's ok though, because he made up for it by constantly playing "Kill the Birdie" with me.

That didn't stop me from going for his Thanksgiving dinner though. He made his 90th trip to the litterbox, and I hopped right up on his chair to chow down on some turkey and fixins. Well, Mean Human Mom stopped that by spraying me with the spray bottle. I got sprayed so much during that meal that I was soaked. I'm going to get her later for sure.

I also enjoyed seeing the Granparents gripe Mom out a lot, while venerating me and telling me how cute and sweet I am.

Stop reading here if cat poop bothers you.

In other news, last night Mom was in the shower, getting all cleaned up so she could go over to the Kaiser's house to work on her stupid costumes. I decided to use the litterbox of course. I love to stink up the bathroom while she's in the shower. As you all know, I'm a longhair, and I have a very furry little butt. Sometimes this causes "hangers on." Since cats don't use toilet paper, I have no choice but to wipe my furry bum on whatever happens to be available. This time, it was Mom's bathmat. So, I did the deed, and left a nice little pooplette on the rug just for her. I was sitting on the toilet seat, anxiously awaiting her stepping in it. But as she got out of the shower, she saw it! Doh! She called me a "little sh*t" which I guess is pretty descriptive all things considering. I took off and ran in the bedroom laughing to myself.

Just another day in the life of me.