My mom is a big meanie.

This morning as I was languishing in my mom's chair, amongst my blankie and pillows, my Mom suddently GRABS me and STUFFS ME IN THE CAT CARRIER! Then she takes me to the Cat Hospital! I howled all the way there. When she took me inside I hissed and growled at the other kitties. They were looking at me like "What's your problem?" Obviously they're too dumb to realize what happens to them at the evil vet's. So, the vet says I have conjunctivitis in one eye, and mom is going to have to treat me with the antibiotic salve again, which is a lot of fun for both of us. As usual, the human servant was about to cry when she dropped me off. Lately, she's gotten way too attached and overprotective. She's starting to treat me like her mom treats her. Geez, Mom cut the umbilical cord already! But not before you bail me out of the vet's.

I've been a bad kitty

Grandma came up to visit to help mom clean the Imperial Palace of Sasha Louise. I made sure to stick my nose in everything they were doing, much to the annoyance of Grandma. We had a couple of small skirmishes when she didn't recognize my superior intellect and authority. I bit her several times . She finally got the picture and cleaned off the pretty glass kitchen table, which I then adorned with my little paw prints. I've been sleeping on the new expensive placemats too. They're very cool on my bum. Mom is mad that she keeps having to Windex the table, but she just doesn't understand the artistic beauty of cat tracks on the furniture.

Uncle Glenn and Aunt Anna came over for a pizza party. In the middle of their dinner, I had the uncontrollable urge to march into the dining room and lick my butt.

Adios, asshole chihuahua

The stupid chihuahua from nextdoor finally moved out. My plot to run him off was a fabulous success. Chewy was the most annoying little rat dog I've ever seen. Plus he bit my mom because she smelled like me. And no one bites my human servant except me!

Granny Meredith is on her way as I write this. I'm pretty excited. She always brings me lots of mice and kitty treats. Unfortunately Grandpa Bill is staying at home, which sucks because he's my favorite human. Around him, I act like a normal, sweet, loving little kitty. I like to purr and rub on his ankles. I think Grandma was mad about that, because I kept biting her. I bit Grandma because she kept sleeping in my chair. When she still didn't move, I just kept stepping on her, and running over her when she was sleeping. Somewhere, mom has a great picture of that, but grandma would be pissed if she posted it.

We'll try to get some adorable pics of me this weekend.

Graceful kitty acrobatics

I'm sort of annoyed at Mom right now. The other day, she ordered a new food processor and it came in a very inviting cardboard box. I love to hide in cardboard boxes. Plus, I'm nosy and I have to check each and every box, just in case there's a kitty treat, or a dead mouse or something.

Unfortunately for me, I overestimated the size of the box. It was somewhat tall and narrow. So I jumped in, but then I couldn't get down in it. My hind parts were sticking straight up in the air and I was stuck. I started paddling my back feet in the air trying to get better control of situation. That's when Mom started laughing at my furry little butt stuck in midair. I finally turned the box over, and ran into the bedroom and sulked for a while. Honestly! Can't the human order food processors in bigger boxes? In the meantime, I've taken over her nice rolling suitcase and it's now filled with several pounds of cat hair.

So now that she has Chef Tony's Ultimate Chopper, she's been making all sorts of stuff for herself. But is she making anything for me? Nooooo. Last night I ordered a tuna smoothie, and she still hasn't fixed it! The service around here really sucks.